sex tape scandal

Definitely something I'll never have to worry about. And not because I'm not a fox, mind you. I'm just not that stupid. Forgive me for saying so, but if you're dumb enough (or is it hot enough) to video tape yourself getting busy, maybe you shouldn't be too surprised when it winds up on the internet. For. real.

Now, I'm no prude , but there is no way in hell I'm going to take a video of myself getting frisky with my husband (or the Maytag man, or pizza delivery guy or whomever else might show up in a tool belt or with food).

I don't even like the way I look when I'm standing up properly with everything sucked in. I can't imagine I would ever like the way I looked all hunched over or folded in half or something. Oh ewww! Sorry dudes, not going to happen. And certainly not before I have had extensive surgical-level fat sucking, skin stapling, hair waxing, plucking, bleaching, and vodka marathon drinking session.

The former Miss California talked with someone at some morning show about her sex tape scandal and it got me to thinking.... there are an awful lot of these blond bimbos (or is it bombshells?) who are in such scandalous videos. I'm guessing there's a reason we don't see many women who aren't plumped and bleached and waxed in sex tapes.... we would like to continue to avoid any additional criticism of our already under-appreciated bodies. These ladies aren't making it easy on the rest of us, either. Knock it off ladies!

Don't get me wrong, I don't give a hoot that her hooters are bouncing around for the world to see, she's the only one who has to explain that to her parents, future partners, and potential children. I'm all fancy free of such scandal and it feels fine. The only thing I have any beef with is that she's so sorry and shit. What. ever. lady. No, you're not. I'm not fooled. You paid to have lots of plastic surgery and then got naked and turned on a video tape to record you sexy time....own it, sista. Someone ought to, Lord knows I'm not going to.

much of the same

I've not been up to much. I made a pumpkin roll this week, which was absolutely divine. I got the recipe from my well-worn Betty Crocker cookbook. Boy does she know a thing or two about cooking. It's strange to me that I like that particular cookbook because I won't even consider using a recipe I find on-line if it doesn't have an accompanying photo. I also flip through cookbooks before I buy them and I expect lots of photos of food, or I'm not spending my money on said cookbook. I'm a brat like that, I guess.

Ummm...you know what? I'm totally lying. I just looked through my bookmarked pages (on the computer) and I used this recipe for my pumpkin roll. Whoops! I remember it all very well now....(I think zombies ate my brains this weekend).

Here's the roll:


It was delish! I changed the recipe a little...
I used a little less granulated sugar in the roll and none of the powdered sugar. I also used about 1/2 tsp of all spice (instead of the cloves and stuff) and 1/2 tsp cinnamon (instead of the full tsp). I also used less sugar and no butter in the cream cheese spread.

While it tasted just fine, it did not roll like it was supposed to. I did all the steps like it says, but it still broke. Thankfully, it didn't change the taste any, it was great. I think I'm going to make another like it this week. In addition, I plan to make a banana-zucchini roll with pineapple-cream cheese spread. (I'm hoping the zucchini will help to keep it moist and I'll be able to use less sugar if I use a banana.)

As for the rest of the week going as planned....let's just say that it didn't exactly happen like that. Here's the run-down:

Monday: Dinner was amazing. The ghost squash was great. It had the texture of a spaghetti squash and was just right roasted with some onions.

Stuffed mushrooms:
(Super-buttery-bacony goodness. Not good for the heart, but they made the tummy happy!)

Tuesday: (deconstructed pot-pie).....nope. KitchenAid burritos...it was Ben's idea. Not bad either. It's basically the guts to a burrito/enchilada, mixed in the KitcehnAid and served with a side of corn chips. This is what happens when Ben is let loose in the kitchen, apparently. (I've been having contractions more and more recently, which means I have to take a lot of time-outs. Fortunately for me, it was around dinner time Tuesday that it happened most recently).

Wednesday: (homemade pizza night with my lady friends)...wound up being a flop. I was stoop up. My friends who were supposed to come out were too pooped to make it. I was bummed, but a (pregnant) lady has to eat, right? Not to mention that dinner was 10 minutes from ready when I got the cancellation call so we just made pizza and pigged out on our own. It wasn't a complete waste though. We both discovered that we love homemade pizza and it's ton cheaper than eating out(so we have a winner!)

Check that shit out... nice...right?

Thursday: this night wound up being a little bit of a wreck too. I got off late from work (which never happens). So we ate the tiny bit of leftover pizza we had from Wednesday night. Not being full and still having plenty to do in town (we had to go pick up free baby stuff from some people I babysit for- more later), we drove in (too late to make it to the birth class) ate dinner at Mamacitas.

Friday:I ate deconstructed pot-pie and Ben ate pizza downstairs with my boss. It was okay, nothing spectacular.

Saturday: Not having gone shopping Saturday morning, we didn't have what we needed to make supper....so we ate out...again. We had pizza at Blue Mountain Pizza in Weaverville (a neighboring city).

Sunday: tonight we will be having stir fry..I think. We shopped this afternoon, so we have plenty to eat. Now it's just a matter of figuring out what I want to make. We'll see how this week goes.

I give myself an awful lot of credit sometimes and I might not always deserve it. I have a tight schedule, to some degree. I have a part time job and no homework (which I always imagined opening up hours and hours of time in my days) and still I have a hard time pulling it all together at times. I think part of it might be due to my new speed, which seems to be slow-motion. I hate it. I can't be on my feet for too long before I start to have contractions, either.

In addition, my dinner plans fall apart quickly if things don't go just right. I feel like I'm hungry most of the time, but when the real hunger kicks in I can be talked into anything, including eating out three times in one week (This never happens in our house and we're sure to suffer from it), just to be fed...quickly!

We'll see how next week goes. My plans are as follows:

Monday: fake fried chicken and broccoli (I never did wind up making this last week).
Tuesday: Ben's newest concoction: KitchenAid Burritos
Wednesday: dinner (out) with friends and dessert at home (I'm thinking the dessert rolls I plan to make early this week).

Thursday: Salteñas (these are Bolivian pocket snacks.)

Friday: Pot roast. It's so simple and generates lots of leftovers, which is what we need on the weekends, when we're most tempted to eat out.
Saturday: leftover pot roast.
Sunday: ??

plans

I plan and I plan and I plan. I feel like I'm always making lists of things to do, things to buy, things to drop off or pick up, lots of lists of things. All these lists help me to feel organized and less panic stricken...most of the time.

One of the things I hate to plan (but do anyway, because it really does help keep me organized and saves me money!) is dinner. I plan dinners for a whole week. Honest Abe. I plan what we're going to have for dinner every. night.

Not only do I plan our dinner menu, but I make the grocery shopping lists (organized by grocery section), I also take in to consideration what our weeknight plans are for each night before planning said dinners.

I know...it's awesome. I'm awesome.

Whatever. I know this makes me a huge nerd and my kid(s?) and husband will make fun of me for it one day.... I'll get over it. I'm over it already.

Were you wondering what we're going to be having for dinner this week? You were?! Well here you go, take a look at this menu and tell me what you think:

Monday: stuffed mushrooms, roasted patty pan (aka: ghost) squash and veggie burgers
Tuesday: deconstructed potpie
Wednesday: pizza (with my lady friends), salad and popcorn
Thursday: we'll probably eat out this night, we have birth class in town.
Friday: fake fried chicken and broccoli au gratin
Saturday: chicken curry
Sunday: ?? I'm not this organized. I'll figure it out before Sunday, or we'll eat out.

For dessert this week I plan to make a pumpkin roll and some cookies. I want to learn to make sweet popcorn, so I might try that too.

Yup, that's right. These are the types of things which occupy my brain space. Thrilling, I know.

sweetness

Stevie is back!! I convinced Ben that we should take her in for the winter and put her back out at the garden in the spring. She really prefers to be outside (but only on the porch) in nice weather. I am of the collective that believes that cats should be allowed to explore outside. Unfortunately, we lost Dali this summer. I thought that she would survive longer than Stevie (she loves to explore outside. As it turns out, that might have been her demise). Anyway, Stevie is still around and it's been getting cold at night.

I've been missing Stevie and it's so cold in the evenings lately. It only took a small amount of discussion to convince Ben to get on board. (Ben is Stevie's favorite person and she is his favorite cat). See:
(aren't they sweet?)

Gus also likes Stevie and she him. She smashed her face all over his mouth and he slobbered all over her face when she got home. She always has a wet face from all the making out they do all day. It's very cute!

Last night, I took a bath (not a hot bath, relax) and both of my animal sidekicks came to hang out with me. Gus nursed his bed for a while and rested in the doorway. When he left, Stevie came in to sit on the bath rug and took a bath too.


I love those silly little animals. I can't wait to have a tiny baby to hang out with too! I never get the chance to take a bath or poop alone now, I might as well add a baby in the mix.

lasagna and (vegan) peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies

That's what I made for dinner and dessert last night. That's right, I'm awesome, and don't you forget it! The lasagna I made is loosely based on a recipe I got from a friend of a friend. It's not traditional layered lasagna, it's what we like to call "Deconstructed Lasagna". Basically, you mix the noodles (we use the large shells (they hold the sauce and veggies better)) and the sauce together in a large bowl. Then you fold in the ricotta-mozzarella mixture and pour in a pan to bake. We pre-cook our noodles, so we only bake for long enough to cook the egg in the ricotta mixture. It's so good and so easy. No messing with those stupid long noodles which always fold over on themselves and stick together and taunt you!

For dessert, I made vegan peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Ho-lee cow! They were so good. The recipe only made about 15 cookies, 10 of which we ate last night. I got the recipe here. I changed it a little. I used vanilla yogurt (you could probably use soy yogurt to keep them vegan) instead of the applesauce and I didn't add peanuts (we don't have any). I think next time I'm going to reduce the sugar and add in a banana, to make them a little bit healthier. Basically, they are our favorite new cookie. They are so, so good. Oh, I also added a little unsweetened, shredded coconut. The best part is that they are vegan, which means that the dough can be eaten right out of the bowl. I bet you could nix the oil too and make them even healthier. I'm out of peanut butter or I would make an entire batch to eat this morning.

I'm going to have a hell of a time working off this extra (cookie) weight. Ah well, it might be worth it.

Look at the cupcakes I'm going to make one day:



They are chocolate chipotle with lime pudding filling and lime cream cheese frosting. These are also vegan.
Now, I'm all about vegan snacks but I'm not a big fan of vegan cheese substitutes. I think I would just go for it and use the real deal in this recipe.

I have also made a decision about my birthday. I think I want to have a cupcake bake-off. I'm going to be 30 next year, so I think I ought make a big deal out of my birthday. I think I'll ask my friends to make cupcakes and we'll all decide who made the tastiest cupcake. Best of all, the winner will win a prize!! Maybe a free student massage and movie tickets or something. Doesn't that sound like fun? Ben says it sound like a baby's birthday. What does he know? He's just jealous he didn't think of it first.

46,000 sq ft = 1 acre... I don't get it

I had a great weekend, which might be hard to imagine after all the hating I did late last week. It's hard to be tired all the time. Like I said before, I try to be a good sport about it, but it's just not that easy.

Anyway, I had a good weekend. Friday was French Broad Friday. Ben and the boys had a BBQ fundraiser at the warehouse. People ate tons of BBQ, but donated a measly amount of funds. I think a good time was still had by all. I know I had a nice time.

Ben's nephew (from his first marriage) came to town, unannounced, so we spent some time with them Saturday afternoon. They were super boring, so I napped after lunch. One great thing about being knocked up is that I can blame it all on the baby and go back to bed. I might not get any real sleep, but it'll get me out of sitting around with boring family.

I spent most of Sunday being super lazy. It was quite nice. I watched a movie, snacked and napped most of the day. Then, Ben and I talked about The Future. I have ants in my pants. I'm not ready to be done exploring. I used to think that this meant moving all the time, but I realize now that this can be done by going on vacation, too. Ben and I came to a compromise, we'll buy some land, build a tiny house and travel as much as we can. I'll still go to graduate school, but not for a while and maybe I'll be able to find a distance learning program, so we can stay here. And, I'll get to buy some chickens.

We're thinking we might be able to save enough money to put a down payment on a tiny piece of land by next year. So now we're looking at tiny pieces of land, around an acre, which will accommodate a tiny house (and a chicken coop). We don't need a lot of space. We're in 900 sq.ft. now and it's the biggest space we've ever lived in. (Once, we lived in 425 sq. ft with two cats an old dog and a puppy). We know how to live compactly.

We're not sure what loans are like for farm land and all that good stuff, but we have a long time to think about all that funny business. Hell, we might change our minds by then.

So, I was looking at a piece of land this morning and I can't conceptualize the space of an acre. There is an acre for sale not far from here and I can't imagine how much space is an acre. Ben and I looked up the square footage and that didn't help one bit. Can anyone help me with this? (Dad, mom; how big was our yard on 4th Ave?)

What do you think peeps....can you help me out?

Oh, I was looking at this space. So nice, right? I can see it's potential....can you? (The existing structures are probably not worth much more than the wood they're made of, but that's okay. We could take them apart and use what's still worth something).

feeling some hate

I have been trying to think of something to blog about for at least a week, but I'm so tired most days I can barely pull together three full, coherent sentences, let alone a full blog of Something Interesting. I was going to full-on complain for today's post, better to be honest than say nothing at all, right? Then, I read this blog and was inspired to bitch, because I'm convinced you care.

I'm grouchy. Maybe for no reason at all, but I'm grouchy. Not interested...? I don't care. read on:

I haven't been able to sleep for more than three consecutive hours in I don't know how long. Sure, I'm in my pajamas and in bed (kinda) for eight hours, but I'm not sleeping for all of it. I wake up every two hours to pee. Granted, we have a bathroom attached to the bedroom, which means I get to slide out of bed to pee, but I still have to get up.

My back hurts so bad. I feel like I have knives stabbing me all the time. Well, not all the time. Only when I move, stand up, sit down,walk, or roll over in bed. All other times, I feel great. It's so bad that I cry when I have to get out of bed. I flinch and nearly hop to the toilet every night.

I wake up at 5:30 every morning and have to spend an hour waking up my darling husband. It's very, very annoying. Now in his defense, he is working a lot. He works 40 hours a week at a job an hour away, so it's nearly 60 hours with driving time. Additionally, he's trying to start his own business of furniture building so he spends a lot of time at his new shop working on furniture. All this means that he gets to bed late and ignores both me and the alarm every morning. I understand that he's working hard and all, but I still hate waking him up. By the time he's finally out of bed, I'm fully awake and so is the fetus-baby, so I wind up getting out of bed too. I hate it. I'm constantly tired and increasingly annoyed with Ben for not getting up on his own.

I haven't started my new job yet. I'm ready to start to make a little money while I can. I've talked with my new boss-to-be and he's almost ready to have me working for him. So says he. I'm afraid that he's putting me off because he can't afford to have me working for him and he's simply not being honest about it. I have my fingers crossed that I'm misinterpreting all of this and will be working on Monday. (Keep your fingers crossed too, won't you?).

Ooohh!! He just came upstairs to get me!! I'm going to have some lunch, shake off the hate, and start to make some money! Woo-hoo!!

gotta go.